Well, I’m going to be very up front with you here. I had a little mental breakdown last night. It wasn’t huge or anything. Just your typical, I’m going to cry in the shower like a baby because I don’t understand where my life is going, breakdown. Yeah, I’ll admit it, I can be a smidge dramatic at times.
My reason for having an unwarranted spazz attack was that I still don’t have a job, I didn’t know whether I was getting into grad school, my life basically consists of writing blog posts and taking my dog to the bathroom, and reading in between while trying not to feel guilty that I’m sitting on my butt while my husband is out working every day. Man, did I learn nothing from my Hemingway post? (https://taylorclemons.wordpress.com/2015/08/03/writer-tip-of-the-week-clear-and-concise-writing/)
Long story short, my husband and I had a long talk, I felt better and not nearly so crazy, and I woke up this morning in a better state of mind. You see, I don’t like waiting. I hate waiting, actually. But sometimes that’s the stage we are at in life. And honestly, there’s not much we can do about it but…wait.
So today I got up, took the dog to the vet and Petsmart where he was a very good boy and earned himself some treats, came home and cleaned, took the pup potty, and then back upstairs again to a missed phone call from Southern New Hampshire University. I listened to the voicemail and nearly freaked. I had been accepted to their Master’s program! Then BOOM, five minutes later I got another call about becoming a substitute teacher (in case I can’t get an actual teaching gig, I like backup plans).
At this point I started laughing. Why couldn’t my mental breakdown have waited one more day? One more day and two of my biggest fears are taken care of (well, sort of, I technically still don’t have a job, but I’m a step closer). Why are we so impatient?
So I encourage you, wherever you are in life, to keep fighting for what you want. Fight for that smile you wear every day and the knowledge that you can keep doing this, whatever “this” may be to you. It’s called a “stage of life” for a reason. It’s temporary. No matter how difficult it may be, it won’t last forever.
Brighter days are coming.
[Follow me on Twitter @tclem91 and you may see a post of my cute puppy who had to get a shot today.]
This Stage of Life 
On the other hand, there is no shame or weakness or silliness in allowing ourselves to process each stage and be completely open and honest with our emotions and ourselves. Yes, this too shall pass. But in the meantime, it’s okay to be scared and sad and dejected before we get across that bridge.
I was absolutely at that stage yesterday. But for me, my mental breakdowns are a bit past being honest with my emotions and go dangerously toward beating myself up for my failures, which is something I’d rather not do lol. I definitely think it is important to be vulnerable and honest with your emotions though as long as it doesn’t get mentally harmful.