Hopefully I’m not the only eager beaver over here throwing both hands in the air like I just don’t care, but at the same time, I don’t wish this awful time on any of you.
If you’ve ever been job hunting while jobless you know how annoying, frustrating, and terrifying it is. I just got married two weeks ago (woohoo!) and while my husband is slaving away every day, I’m sitting at home, trying not to feel useless.
Now, I am totally not knocking stay at home moms or housewives. There is plenty to do around here between cleaning, cooking, taking care of our pup, figuring out the stupid internet bill (long story), and it is exhausting. But this is just not the life for me. I love vacation. I love breaks from work. But I don’t love not having a job.
It doesn’t help that I’m naturally anxiety ridden, so staying calm during this time is difficult to say the least. And since I’m feeling particularly raw and emotional, I figured, why not write a blog post about it?
Writing is supposed to be raw and emotional right? I noticed the other day that we use the word “emotional” when someone is hysterical or sad or angry, you know, the more “negative” emotions. But being happy and excited and hyper are emotions, too. Why don’t we call those people emotional?
I tend to avoid writing when I feel those negative emotions, but what I often ignore, is writing tends to calm those emotions and bring me peace. Any kind of writing, whether it’s blog writing or journal writing or book/script writing. You’d probably never guess that 20 minutes ago I was on the phone with the internet people for over an hour, just to be told they can’t help me because I’m not on the account.
So while I’m in this stage of life looking for a job (hopefully one I will enjoy), I will continue to write. I will write through my anxiety, through my fear and my sadness, through my excitement and hope. Some of the writing will be good, and some of it won’t be. But nevertheless, I will write.
“If I waited til I felt like writing, I’d never write at all.” – Anne Tyler